Be Excellent To Each Other - Lessons From My Mother

My mother, Shirley Ann Walker, passed away on August 28th, 2013. It happened a day after my brother's birthday and a week before her father, my grandfather's birthday. My grandfather, my Pampa, turned 88. It's a blessing her passing wasn't on someone's birthday, but a tragedy it happened so early in her own life. She was 62. It was cancer.

My grandfather was visiting her when she died. He said he was there to help her into this world and there to see her off.  She waited for her Daddy. No doubt, it is hard to lose a mother, but so much harder to lose a child, at any age. My pain is enormous right now, but I can't imagine his.

Her official obituary:

Shirley Ann Walker born, Feb. 2, 1951 passed into the Lord's arms, Aug. 28, 2013. She leaves behind her father Jack Jones, husband Randy, 2 brothers, 1 sister, 3 children, 2 step-children, and 6 grandchildren. She moved on from this world with this reminder "Be excellent to each other". Services will be held at the Church of the First-Born 1501 N. Purdue OKC, 73147 on Sat, Aug. 31st at 2pm followed by a graveside service at Resurrection Memorial Cemetery. 

Lesson 1 - Carry a big bag to the movies. My mother could smuggle into the movie theater 5 bags of popcorn, cans of soda and candy in her huge quilted purse. It was her movie purse. Really, the lesson is to be prepared and frugal. Keeping children happy isn't always easy. It can be expensive, if you let it. I see parents buying every toy and gadget for their children, handing over the world. I'm guilty of it at times. I can tell you, in the long run, it' doesn't help. Those children don't love more or appreciate more or strive for more. Growing up, I was never without, but I appreciated what I was given.

Lesson 2 - Travel in packs. My fondest memories as a child involve big family gatherings, outings with groups from the church, or cub scouts. My mother took our cousins and us all over the city every day in her woody Chrysler station wagon. She and her sister, my aunt, both had one and I remember climbing over seats and sleeping in the back. There were trips to the pool, the community center, the library for summer reading. It is in those early bonds I found my love of people, interaction, relationships.

Lesson 3 - Have a kind heart. My mother was kind. She was kind to strangers, to friends to family.  She knew all the neighbors and they all adored her. She brought joy to anyone she was around, she was a light in the room, a smile that made everything better. During her funeral, her little church was filled to standing room only. It is why on a day of 100 degree heat, a mile long procession made it's way to her grave. It is why the church looked like a greenhouse with flowers and plants, and why the amazing women at her church cooked enough food for an army to help our family during this time. It was all because of her kind heart.

Lesson 4 - Love hard. How my mother could love. My mother would hold us, hug us, kiss us. Hold our hands, lay on the floor, play in our rooms or outside, take us to the zoo, or the pool, or the park.She was involved with school activities,with sports and with church. That woman could love. I am so glad she found someone to love in her husband, my step-father Randy. They had only been married a few months when she was diagnosed, and only two years when she passed. In sickness and in health, they both loved hard.

Lesson 5 - Let go of your children to let them grow. Growing up is hard. Divorce doesn't make it any easier. I lived it. As I got older, I got more independent, more defiant. My mother stayed married to my father far longer than she wanted to or should have. And she did it for love. Love of her children, and love of her faith. But one day it was too much. It wasn't long after the divorce I left her to move in with my father. I left her when she needed me the most. But she knew I needed to grow up. She knew I was angry and I didn't know how to fix my life and the lives around me. There were some rocky years when we seldom spoke. I have spent much of my adult life apologizing and regretting that time. But she always dismissed it as part of life, part of becoming an adult. My relationship with my mother as an adult was truly wonderful. I wish all parents that opportunity.

Lesson 6 - Be strong, fight for what you believe.  My mother was kind, it's true, but was also tough. My mother was the strongest woman I know. Really, she could beat me in arm wrestling until 8th grade. She could wash dishes in water that would scald my hands. She could pop me in my mouth like a ninja for being disrespectful. She could put my teenage brother over her knee and spank him. Although I'm sure that happened only once. She was tough. Tough when she lost a newborn baby girl, tough when I was born nearly three months early, tough during the divorce, tough to go back to work, and to go back to school. She earned her Masters while undergoing chemo and radiation. She never quit her job, only went on disability two months before she died because of a stroke. It took a stroke to get my mom to stay home! And even then, she said she was going back.

Lesson 7- Be Excellent to Each Other.  So funny that truer words were never said. One of those movies my mother took us to was "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure". If you haven't seen it, I don't know if you can appreciate it the way I do. I was 11, and here was a movie about time travel and rock 'n roll. We loved it, and the parting wisdom that Bill and Ted gave to the generations of the future was "Be excellent to each other" and " Party on Dude". It was my mother's favorite quote.

In all you do, in all you say, are you being excellent to your fellow man? I know I'm guilty of not being excellent. I want to be more excellent to my wife, my children, my family, friends and colleagues.

There is no doubt this is more for me than you, the reader. So if you've made it this far, I appreciate it. Here is one last lesson from me to you.



Parents, love your children. They will grow, learn, yell, scream, hate, but eventually, love you again. I know because I lived it. And now as I see my children growing, I can appreciate it from the other side. Do your best, and your children will come out on the other side your best friend.

Children, love your parents. You some day will lose them. I actually pray you lose them and they don't lose you, because if there is any solace to the loss of my mother, it is that parents should go before there children. It is that reason I am so sad for my grandfather. Love your parents, because they are just people, imperfect, flawed, but people, none the less, who tried very hard to give you what you needed in this life.

I love you Mom. 

My Mom, Cancer and the Chicago Bears

My mother has cancer.

It started in her lungs, though she's a nonsmoker. I always feel inclined to say that she never smoked, because lung cancer has such a negative connotation. But she was never a smoker. Ever.

I haven't been real vocal about it. When my mom was diagnosed about 2 years ago, she didn't want everyone to know. She shared it with family and church friends, and eventually people at work. So, respecting her wishes, and the fact that I'm not an over sharer on social media, I haven't posted Facebook statuses requesting prayers or thoughts, or how hard it is to be 800 miles away while my mother battles cancer. But all of those things are things at some point I would have liked to post. It was one of the hardest parts about moving to Chicago. But my mom told me to live my life.

Cancer sucks. Treatment sucks just as bad if not worse. If I ever get this news I may pack up and head for the beach. I fear my mother is at the end of this battle. But, that isn't the topic of this post. My mother deserves her own post reflecting on her life, and I promise I will get to that some day soon.

This post is about the two organizations. It Ain't Chemo  and the Chicago Bears.

Now, I grew up on the Bears, though I'm not sure why. I mean, we lived in Oklahoma with no NFL affiliation to speak of. Most folks around that area love the Dallas Cowboys or the Kansas City Chiefs. But our house was a Bear's house. I remember my mom in her Bears jersey on the couch watching football before I knew what first down meant. I think it was all about William "Refrigerator" Perry. He was a legend in our house and we loved to watch him.



So, fast forward to today.

My stepfather was in contact with "It Ain't Chemo" out of Las Vegas, Nevada. They provided a wonderful care package including a heavy blanket and hat for my mother to keep her warm during treatment.  Recently, they reached out and asked if there was anything more they could do. My stepfather mentioned how much Mom loved Refrigerator Perry and how he would love to take her to see him at a speaking engagement or some appearance.

Well, the Fridge is off the circuit. Turns out he is sick too. But "It Ain't Chemo" worked with the Bears. The Chicago Bears sent my mom a care package with an Official Wilson Team Football, two team flags, two pencils, two team decals, an official team fleece, a team yearbook and a letter thanking her for supporting the team and encouraging her.

It brought my stepdad to tears to tell me about it. It brought me to tears to hear about it.

Now I don't know if this is a regular program or if every NFL team does something similar. Honestly, if they do, I think it's great.

But this act of kindness at an extremely difficult time for my mother, my stepfather and my family, means so much to us all. I thought it deserved mention.

I count myself lucky to live in this City and raise my family here.

So, visit these pages, like them and comment. Here's my comment, feel free to use it:
Thank you for the work you do and the support you showed my mother with the Care Package as she battles cancer. Your organization is amazing. I will be an "It Ain't Chemo " & Chicago Bears fan for life. Thank you - From the Shirley Jones Prayer Team!

Bears Facebook
It Ain't Chemo Prayer Warriors Facebook

Appreciate today. Turn it up some and appreciate today.

Relocation -6 Tips to Moving Cross Country

About a year ago, our family packed up and moved to the Windy City. All we had really ever known was life in Oklahoma, mostly Oklahoma City, a little Tulsa Time and some smaller towns. As you grow up in Oklahoma, you are instilled with this sense that Oklahoma is the best place to live. People are friendly, there's a sense of community, there are churches on every corner and religion is taken seriously. People there love God and Guns being an Oklahoman. I would imagine most places make kids feel this way. Except maybe about the Guns.

Plus, Oklahoma City is in the middle of the country. I remember looking at a map as a kid and thinking, how lucky am I to get to live right in the middle of the best country?

So, don't get me wrong. Oklahoma is good. Good cost of living, good housing market, good unemployment rate. I applaud the MAPS project that has really turned OKC into a destination spot for Oklahomans. And of course there is the Thunder.

But Oklahoma is not all there is. Just like wherever you live right now is not all there is. The world is a big place. I'm the first to admit, I was scared to take a chance and move away. But, it's the best thing we ever did.

So, if you are contemplating a move, taking a leap and exploring, here are some things I've learned over the last year. Some one once told me, "You have to live somewhere, why not live somewhere amazing?" 

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin' town.

6. Study the area
Lucky for you, there is this thing called the internet. You can find anything on there. Including information about where you might be moving. Use greatschools.org to check scores for the area. Google maps can give you a layout, show you local businesses, and even show you what your new city looks like with street view. Visit the chamber website for community information. Some may even send you a free packet of coupons and information. Then use Zillow.com, Redfin.com or Trulia.com to start looking for your house. Lastly, plan a trip. If at all possible, you and the family need to see where you might live. Which leads me to the next tip....

5. Involve the family
Though you may be the cause of the move due to a new job or something, chances are this affects a lot more people than just you. Think about what things the kids would enjoy. What about your spouse, what will make this place appealing to the whole family? Why is this the next step in all of your lives? A wise man told me, involve everyone, or when you arrive, you will have a very unhappy family.

4. Enroll the children in their activities
In all the change, the moving, the packing, the unpacking, the finding of new doctors and dentists and restaurants and stores, you must give your children a sense of normalcy. What did the children do back home? Soccer? Ballet? Dance? Gymnastics? Baseball? Piano? Chess club? Cheer?
You'd better find out how to replace it and replace it quick. This is where the kids will make friends and start feeling at home. This is how they transition, forget about the stress of losing all the knew, and start meeting new people. An old friend told me this one and it was so true. Thanks Chad!

3. Find the community events
Remember that chamber website? Well, go and look at the events section. What is your new city, town or even neighborhood known for? Are there concerts in the park? Family fun days? Taste of the City? You moved here for a better life and new experiences, so find these things and go.

2. Explore what's different
Additionally, moving somewhere new comes with exploring someplace new. And not just the neighborhood or city. Sure, depending on where you moved, you may have a whole new world open up. For instance, we moved to the outskirts of Chicago. We could spend the rest of our lives visiting new pockets in the city, discovering new festivals, restaurants, grocery stores and antique shops. Chicago holds amazing history and diversity.  And we will continue to explore forever. But what about those weekend getaways? Back in Oklahoma, we would drive to Dallas, Austin, San Antonio Tulsa, Wichita or Branson. But with a new home base comes new road trip opportunities like Wisconsin, Indiana and Michigan. So, what's around your new home? You may have a brand new part of the country to explore.

1. Meet the neighbors
This is our number one. We were so lucky to have a great family we knew already so close to us. But what happened next blew our minds. People came by with cakes and muffins, wine and candles, welcoming us to the neighborhood. The kids made friends and we found ourselves with an endless supply of cookouts, impromptu play dates, house parties and fun. Without a doubt, the best thing you can do is meet your neighbors. It was so easy, in our case, because so many came to us. But if you don't have the same experience, go to them. Knock on the door and introduce yourself. Ask for advice on good places to eat or shop. And then throw an open house party. I guarantee making friends is the fastest way to settle in your new home. What's up my Park Ridge People! I know you think my blogging is funny, but I'm still giving you a shout out!


Cast your fear away and find your piece of heaven. I wish you the same happiness we have found.

Park Ridge, IL

Thrift Like a Man -6 Tips For Successful Thrift Store Shopping

Thrift store shopping has gone through a bit of a revival in the last few years. When the unemployment rate sky rocketed and the economy tanked, many people turned to thrifting to keep clothes on their backs. But we all learned something during that time. Thrifting is pretty cool. People donate all sorts of great stuff; brand name,  good condition, classic style stuff. You can be extremely well dressed for a ridiculously low amount of money if you do it right.

And thanks to Mackelmore, it's not just for women anymore.  

So, there is no shame hitting the local thrift store. It's a bit of a treasure hunt, but you can find some amazing pieces. Follow these tips and you can't go wrong. And if you do, just donate it.

Thrift store shoes, pants and tie.

6. Know Your Closet 
OK, that was really vague, but really true. First of all, know what you have hanging in your closet. Are you replacing, adding to or matching? You must be careful or you will have a closet full of used clothes that you never wear. Also, know your style. What do you have in the closet vs. what do you want to have in your closet? With prices so low, you can afford to try new styles, push your own limits, but be careful not to go too far. Just because you can buy a leopard fur jacket doesn't mean you should. Well, maybe you should. If it's $0.99.




5. Size Matters
You should know what size you wear in shirts, pants, suits and shoes. If you don't, visit a tailor or men's store. This is really important; don't guess. A cheap suit can look great if it fits, but any ill fitting suit looks terrible, regardless of cost or material. You should also know what can and can't be tailored. Is there enough fabric if the pants are too short? Are the sleeves too long? Can this jacket be taken in? It's easier to make something smaller that bigger. I'm the worst about this, but find a tailor and use him.

4. Know The Brands
Obviously some jump out like Gucci or Prada, but know what your looking at. Look for others like L.L. Bean, Ralph Lauren and Brooks Brothers. If you see something you don't know, Google it. Also look for vintage brands. Chicago is full interesting vintage names.Never be a slave to the brands, but also know who makes quality goods. There are a ton of online resources that will list quality brands. Also, avoid mediocre brands that are already inexpensive, like Old Navy, Cherokee, or George. You are on a treasure hunt, not trying to fill a closet. Keep to the best of the best so you'll have room for the right finds.

3. Where And How It's Made
So you found an amazing pair of slacks but after much searching, you can't tell what brand they are. Many older or custom made garments don't have brand names. See if there is a "Made In" tag. Things made in the United States, Italy and England are probably pretty solid. If it's made in China, better take a pass. If you can't tell where it's made, feel the fabric. Are slacks lined to the knee? Can you feel the lining within a jacket? How thick are the buttons on that shirt? Learn about where quality clothing is made and how it's made and you may find some steals other people pass up.

2. Not All Stores Are Created Equal
I can't stress this enough, know the area. Find the rich part of town, the part where old money lives. People in general have too much stuff. That stuff often times gets donated. Also, older people pass away and a bulk of their worldly possessions become grade a prime thrift store items. I love a retro throwback look to the 50s and 60s. Look around the area and visit a few different stores. When you come across vintage silk ties, custom wool slacks and Italian shoes, you've arrived.

1. Make Friends 

If there is one thing I've learned from my genius wife who hates it when I mention her in my blog, it is to make friends with the staff. The staff will tell you the best day to come in and when the new stuff is put out. They may let you look through the back for unlisted items. They may hold things for you specifically, or give you special pricing. The power of relationships applies in all areas of life, especially if you are going to be a regular thrift store treasure hunter.

Shopping at a thrift store is fun, and economic. But let's not forget the other side. It's helping someone. Donating your old items and shopping at your local thrift shop is probably helping a nonprofit group or organization. Find out more about who your local thrift store supports. It might even make you feel good.

Saying No To Social? 5 Reasons to Consider Saying Yes.

I have a diverse and large group of friends. Somehow, it's something that happened when we moved to Illinois last year. I've always had friends, but when we got here, we had a whole neighborhood to meet. Maybe it's because the kids are older. When your kids make friends, the parents tend to make friends as well. Maybe it's because the weather here is more inviting for outdoor living. Regardless, it's been great to build these friendships with a variety of different people. It is one of the best parts about our move.

One thing I have noticed, however, is how several of my friends have rejected social media. It is like a badge of honor. I am almost teased for embracing it. And God help me if I update my status when the Blackhawks are on.  It all reminds me of this Toyota Commercial.

I get it. Our age group didn't grow up with it like those a bit younger. It's hard to understand why there are all of these avenues for self promotion, vanity and stupidity. The internet is a wild and dangerous place.

But I am on the other end of that argument. When social became a true tool, I engaged, learned and embraced. I was surprised when I learned that corporate social media was so much more than Facebook and Twitter. It's millions of blogs, micro-blogs, page shares, specialty social sites and more. Shares, tweets, 1-ups, likes, comments, tags, check-ins, recommends and more. For businesses, it has become a necessity to monitor and interact in that world.

The forever stamp, to mail stuff.

So, if you're reading this, chances are you're good with social media. But if you're like me and have some friends that renounce it with pride, print this off, put it in an envelope and use the US Postal system to send it to them. You will need a stamp. Get the forever ones because when are you going to need a stamp again?

At some point, people said, "Television, why get one of those? I have a radio." or "Phone? Why would I want a phone? If I need to talk to someone I'll send them a letter." and others said "Cell phone? Why do I need to have a phone on me at all times?" Well, times they are a changin'. Here are a few reasons to embrace a little social media.

5. Your news how you want it and early. 

You can have a thousand friends, post what your eating for breakfast, and rant on every political or religious feeling you have.  Or. You can select to interact with people you know, you love, you respect, you care about. You can keep things private, limit access. You chose what to share, what to read, what to do. In essence, your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, whatever, is yours. A custom newspaper of words and images for you. And what's more, Social is global and real time. I have heard almost every major news event in the last two years through social. Bin Laden killed? Twitter, well before the President spoke. Twitter was lit up after the Boston Marathon Bombing. The Zimmerman case? Facebook. Did you know that kid from Glee died over the weekend? Yep, Facebook.  If you choose not to participate, you are choosing to hear later in many cases.


4. Long distance relationships.

No, not steamy internet romances.Social media breaks down those geographic barriers for friends and family.Use it for keeping in touch with your mother, or your sister. Or your best friend from high school. This is a great big world, something I only learned recently. There are a lot of people I care about in Oklahoma and Alabama. I've got friends in family in Kansas, Arkansas, California, Thailand and Australia. I want to see how they are, they want to see how we are. I know, you say "pick up the phone and call". But then life gets in the way. My best friend, who is like an uncle to my kids, refuses to get a Facebook account. Absolutely refuses. Made some silly bet about never getting one. So what does he miss? Every photo we share of our family. Every milestone we post. And he realized it. So he got an Instagram.

Hi Mom, I have a blog!

3. Sharing and Keeping Memories

Pick up your phone right now. How many photos are on it? 5? 10? I have 998 photos on my phone. That's just on my phone. Now, pretend you lost your phone. How many of those photos do you have? Zero, right? Unless you have them backed up, you have lost quite a bit of captured memories. Facebook says users upload 350 million photos a day. Social media sites and cloud storage services are life savers for documents, photos and videos. Not to mention, sharing them with those you love. Every time my sister posts, I get to see my nephews grow, even those I'm a thousand miles away.

2. Work Wise

More and more companies are bringing a social component to their internal site. CEOs are blogging for their workforce, managers have chat rooms. There are shared documents spaces, knowledge management systems and employee profile pages. Jive, Spoke and Chatter are just a few that are taking social to corporate. You will have a heck of a learning curve and pretty poor adoption rate if you haven't participated in social media for personal use.

Social for business allows organizations to capitalize on the the huge knowledge bank of the employees. It lets companies uncover trends and lets each associate feel a part of the larger organization. It takes time, training and encouragement, but it is a huge asset for the company and the culture. Hmm..this may be it's own post someday.


1. Networking

Even if you are anti-social media, you should at the very least, be on Linkedin. You know networking is important, but now networking on the net is crucial. Looking to network in today's business environment? Want to explore open positions, learn about new industries, connect with business clients and colleagues? It's happening online, with or without you. LinkedIn has exploded, but also sites like Plaxo and Xing and ton of others are giving business professional networks.


All in all, find the right mix that works for you. Start small and do what your comfortable with. And should you choose not to have a digital thumbprint, I'll respect that. But don't think less of those who do. And I'll try not to Facebook too much during the Blackhawks game!

All Buttoned Up - 5 Places to Get Dress Shirts Cheap

Congratulations, you're all grown up. You get up and go to work everyday to make a living. Maybe you work in an office, or maybe on a sales floor. Maybe you have to drive around and meet clients. Maybe you sling coffee, or pour drinks, or make spreadsheets, or draw cartoons or create inventions that will change the world, like Nutella. Mmmm Nutella. Maybe you just need something for church on Sundays. Regardless, there's one thing you must do.

Put on a shirt.

It's necessary. There is no getting around it. (Shut up life guards and professional wrestlers, this article ain't for you.) Now how can you do that, put on a shirt, without spending a fortune? A Hugo Boss or a Brooks Brothers can go for $150 - $200. And looking around more, you can find shirts for triple that. Now, I'd love to be the guy that has all his shirts tailor made, but let's be real. I've got kids. I'm not having bespoke clothing anytime soon. But at the same time, I don't want the right out of college -  JC Penny's Essentials shirts for $15. (Actually, I think I have a couple.)

So here is a little help on how you can have some good quality shirts without spending a ton. You know I love lists, so....Top Five:

5. Paul Frederick 

So, I'm throwing this site in because, honestly, you need white shirts. And they have them for $20. It's not their best cotton, and you have to iron them, but did I mention they are $20. Yours are old and yellowing in the pits. Replace them. Now.

Pros: Variety of collar and cuff options. I recommend the Windsor Spread. The straight is really long. Grab both a regular and french cuff. The price, obviously, is nice. Free monogramming is also pretty classy. Plus, white is your go to shirt.

Cons: I wear an 18 in the neck. They have tons of sizes, but the slim fit stops at 17 1/2, and they get blousy at 18. (I do find it funny I need "slim" anything.) Also, this is their lower end cotton and not wrinkle free. I send them to the cleaners.




4. Costco

I know, you're wondering how Costco made a list of nice shirts. I'm a little bit shocked myself. But I saw a buddy at work in a really nice spread collar shirt. I ask him where he got it and sure enough, Costco. Evidently he snagged his shirt while shopping and they GAVE him a free shirt. I hear they have an amazing business culture there. Not only that, but it's a nice shirt. It makes me wonder who makes them. If you know about Costco's Kirklands brand, there are rumors of its couterpart brands being pretty good. For instance, I hear Kirklands Vodka is really Grey Goose. Who knows, maybe their shirts are Gucci. Probably not, but you don't know.


Pros: Price is $17.99, wrinkle free and good materials. Great back up or weekend shirt.

Cons: Low stock and hard to find your size. Also, there is a very small selection, maybe 12 different shirts.


3. Nordstom Rack
So, Nordstrom is known for their high end quality clothing.The Rack is the clearance portion for Nordstrom. It makes the list because you can scoop up those $150 shirts for $50 or $100. Still kind of pricey, but you get the quality for a fraction of the cost. Think of it like an upscale Ross. Hmm, Ross did not make my list....

Pros: Name brands, quality materials at a fraction of the cost.

Cons: Still costs some money and you have to dig for it. I personally don't love shopping at Ross or The Rack because it feels like a mess to me. If I'm going to treasure hunt, I'd rather hit a thrift shop, ya know whaddimean?  But I can't deny the deals you can find.


2. Jos. A. Banks
Joseph A. Banks? Isn't that where your dad shops? Yeah, I know. Banks is known for a traditionally look - translate to old. But really, they have some great stuff and really great sales. Speaking of sales, their deal of the day section online makes the list for buttons downs and polos. I'm not kidding, there are some steals. I prefer their Traveler and Executive line. The Joseph line is their high end, but I found they fit a little small, hard to tuck in. Shop right and you can find their $95 shirt for $15 or $20. Check their sales and their Deal of the Day and you can find some amazing buys.

Pros: Great price and quality. They have slim fit, wrinkle free and casual shirts. Their sales are great and they have locations everywhere. You don't like it, return it to the store.

Cons: Deals change daily so you have to be vigilant. Free shipping occurs after $95 so do some serious looking. Plus, you have to shop the sale, which makes me feel a little like shopping at Kohls.


1. Charles Tyrwhitt

I've mentioned this company before and I'm a fan. Some how, I magically got a catalog in the mail. It was a pretty compelling offer, shirts for $34.50 that are normally $160. So I tried a non-iron slim fit french cuff. It's my new favorite shirt. What's more, I used a visa gift card that caused my order to bounce out. They called me the next day, replaced my order and verified it. All with a super nice British accent. Because, yeah, they are located on Jermyn Street in London, which is like the Rodeo Drive over there, I guess. I've ordered three more sense. I would recommend the wrinkle free.

And here's another tip. In your browser put in www.ctshirts.com/ and then type a letter. See if anything auto populates, like Mack or Chester. There are different offers for each address. One has a free tie with shirts at $39.50, another has free shipping.
Mack may be the only one working right now.  But there regular site has a great sale going on too.

Pros: Great price, style, quality and selection. Great customer service. My favorite so far.
Cons: Since it is a special, not every shirt is included. Also, many are on back order and have an anticipated arrival date. I waited a month for my new shirt, but it was worth it.

Since you have to wear a shirt anyway, might as well be a nice one.

Summer Beers You Can Probably Find

It's summer time in Chicago, and that means a lot of outdoor activities. Every weekend is a different fair or festival, outdoor dining and neighborhood gatherings. The weather has been perfect. Happiness requires work life balance, so after you take off your tie it's time to unwind, kick back and enjoy your summertime, wherever you are.

And as I reflect on this summer, I wanted to share a few seasonal beers that you can probably find at your local restaurant or grocery store.

5. Goose Island, Summertime

Goose Island is somewhat of a staple in Chicago. I was introduced to it my first trip to this city. You can bet on finding at least one of their beers, like Honkers Ale or 312 in any bar or restaurant in the area. And honestly, it's great beer. I even hear my buddy in Oklahoma came across some 312. They are not everywhere, but the closer you are to here, the more likely you will see that goose head.

Here's what they say:
"The color of sunshine, with a light fruity aroma and a hint of fruity acidity, Goose Island Summertime is the perfect summer session ale. A Kölsch beer brewed in the traditional German fashion, you’ll find yourself enjoying and savoring each sip of summertime as much as you do those hot summer days and cool summer nights."

What do I say? Solid choice, really good when it's hot outside as long as it's ice cold. This one is an easy drink, though I've noticed some of their other ales are a bit hoppy.  Best thing, you can surely find it in Chicago and it's showing up further and further from the windy city.


4. Big Sky Summer Honey Ale
Big Sky is one of my favorite breweries, most notably for their Moose Drool Brown Ale. That said, I do love their other beers, like this one.

Here's what they say:
"It’s a full flavored, refreshing summer seasonal. This well-balanced brew has a unique blend of spices, which complement the European hops. The honey lightens up the body and helps to blend taste with aroma without making the beer too sweet."

What do I say?
It's nice to see a summer that doesn't tout lemon or citrus flavors. Not that I don't like that, I do. But a honey and spice beer is a nice summer change. Plus, maybe it's the redneck in me, but I love Big Sky. I love their names of beer, there wild life bottles, there snappy saying on their caps (Dispose of in nearest truck bed). Well done, Big Sky.

3. Bell's Oberon Ale
This brewery gets a lot of mind share around these parts, and for good reason. Bell's is out of Kalamazoo, MI and makes some solid brews. It's craft enough that not everyone has it, but common enough that if a place has a good beer selection, they probably have something Bell's. And they make a ton of year round, specialty and seasonal brews. I also like it because as my wife picks up wine at Trader Joe's, I can grab a sixer. We love Trader Joe's, but that probably deserves it's own article.

Here's what they say:
"The heart of our summer lineup, Oberon Ale offers a refreshing mix of malted wheat flavor and fruity notes, wrapped up in a distinctively citrusy hop aroma. Brewed around the concept of balance, Oberon brings a moderate bodied yet full-flavored ale to the table that complements all manner of summer activities."

What do I say? 
Can't go wrong with anything Bell's. It's heavier than other summer brews and a bit hoppier, but for real beer lovers, you'll like this one.

2. Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy
I have had some ups and downs with this brewery, but I have to give them props for the selection. I did once have a beer that tasted like Fruity Pebbles. Now I do love Fruity Pebbles (who doesn't), but I do not love Fruity Pebble beer.  I do, on the other hand, like a refreshing lemonade style beer.

Here's what they say:
"A Shandy is beer brewed with a little something extra. Leinenkugel's® Summer Shandy® is crisp wheat beer brewed with natural lemonade flavor which makes it a perfect summertime refresher for those sun-splashed summer days."

What do I say?
Good, refreshing, serve very cold. Even my wife likes this beer, and she's not a beer fan. You might consider the  Lemon Berry Shandy as well, though I have not yet braved it. I don't want a breakfast cereal repeat.


1. Sam Adams Summer Ale
God Bless Sam Adams. Now I know some out there won't agree. You beer connoisseurs that only want to drink the most obscure craft selection. I get it, you want to try new things. And remind everyone that you try new things. You're like the speakeasy goer in the beer community. I get it.

But, you have to give Sam some serious respect. Sam Adams took good beer and made it as mainstream as a Miller Light or Budweiser. They have a fantastic selection, you can find it anywhere, and it's reasonably priced. And, if their commercials are to be believed, they really really really care about beer. I respect that. I always say, do what you love. And so, I give top honors to their Summer Ale.

Here's what they say:
"Crisp and tangy with refreshing lemon peel and a hint of pepper from rare Grains of Paradise.  Golden, hazy, & thirst quenching, this American wheat ale balances bright citrus, Noble hops & spice for a lively brew that’s perfect on any summer day."

What do I say?
This is the perfect selection for your summer barbecue, you 4th of July, your lazy Friday night. It's not overbearing with the lemon, the pepper and spice provide balance.  Plus, when entertaining, this is a great balance between the mainstream or the obscure. I will say, I love the Porch Rocker, which is a lot more citrusy, like a lemonade beer. If your feeling daring, give it a try.


There are a ton of great breweries and summer beers out there, so if these don't quench your thirst, look around, but these are some great go-to summers that are easy to find. Happy Summer!

Three Professional Development Tests Your Team Should Take

You know what I love?  Professional Development Tests. You know, those tests your boss makes you take to learn more about yourself and how you like to work and what your communication style is and if you like groups, or if you like data, or if you like creative freedom or if you like colors, or numbers or sushi or ketchup on your fries.... The list goes on and on and on.

Some tests are a hundred questions and some are less than ten. Really, the professional development industry has exploded (or maybe I just started paying attention).  Hmm, seems like something I should look into... but I digress.


I know what you're thinking. I've got to be kidding right? Who likes those tests? People take them once and then shelve the books forever. Really, here is my shelf. 

But I say don't dismiss them so quickly. Find some good ones and then, as a team, go through your results. You are bound to find some "Yep, that sounds like you!" and "I don't do that."  But at the end, I'll bet you have a better understanding of each other and yourself. It just might make you work better together.

 Just as not to be too painful, I've limited this to three. Check them out, and learn a little more about me.


3. Standout by Marcus Buckingham
This is an interesting test that shows your value. It outlines how people can challenge you, when to come to you and how you like to be recognized.

I'm an Equalizer /Stimulator - "You're an activist. When you are rallying support for issues close to your heart, you have unstoppable energy, vitality and strength. Standing up for the rights of the underprivileged, bringing injustices to public consciousness, motivating and supporting people to stand up for themselves and others -- in short, any activity where you are lending your talents to create a more just and fairer world is deeply satisfying to you. You bring an optimistic quality to your fight, an enthusiasm that infuses others with the energy to do what's right."

Accuracy = Kinda Close

2.  How to Fascinate by Sally Hogshead
I just recently took my team through this exercise. You can take the test and learn what your fascination triggers are for a reasonable price. Buy the next level and you can learn how to craft you 9-second fascinate statement.  I would say this one is a very feel good and light test. But don't let that detract from it's value, our team had a great time with it.

I'm the The Advocate. I am Dynamic, Inclusive and Engaging.  
"YOU ARE THE ADVOCATE. YOUR ATTRACTIVE AND EXPRESSIVE PERSONALITY ENABLES YOU TO INFLUENCE OTHERS.

• You are a champion of people and ideas, and your energy makes you an active, resonant voice for groups.
• Your unique ability to connect with and inspire people is complimented by an inherent desire to create opportunity and make things happen.
• You’re extroverted, gregarious and personable. A gifted conversationalist, you have the ability to draw people in and keep them hanging on your every word.
• You are creative and artistic but your POWER trigger means you work in a way that compels people to like and respect you for it. The attraction you generate inspires participation, thereby making you highly influential."

Accuracy = Really Close

1. Strength Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath
So, this isn't by any means new.  This is, however, the one that taught me the most, both about me, and about those I work with. Many people post there strengths on their cube or office door. I found it incredibly enlightening, as I took this rather early in my career. I've heard that by taking it again after several years you may see that your strengths have changed.

1. Woo - (Winning Over Others) People who are especially talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.

2. Communication - People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

3. Achiever -  People who are especially talented in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.

4. Input - People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

5. Connectedness - People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Accuracy - Wow, it's like they know me!


So take some time and invest a little in yourself and your team. It's a nice way to refresh and renew while learning more.

Some day maybe I'll have my own test our there. The "Turn it up Some Test"!

I'd like to point out that "Turn it up some" is from a Trace Atkins song. My sister told me I was ripping it off and I want to give credit where credit is due. Hey Trace, thanks for turnin' it up some!

Tie Tuesday -It's a thing.

A month ago I wore a tie on a Tuesday. Another guy at work noticed and asked if it was for "Tie Tuesday". What is this "Tie Tuesday"? I had never heard of such a thing. Could it be? A legit reason to wear a tie once a week that wouldn't spark the question, "Are you interviewing or something?" Yes, I do believe it was for Tie Tuesday. And so, I started expanding my tie selection and honoring "Tie Tuesday".

Where I Work
I love where I work. It's truly the best company I've every had the pleasure to serve. But, it's important that I explain my work environment. Ties are uncommon. More than uncommon, unheard of. Unless your a contractor or consultant, you don't wear a tie and definitely not a suit. Our dress code is pretty casual, and I appreciate that, believe me. If I want to wear jeans and a polo, that is fine with everyone else. And on Fridays, I do.

This is becoming very common place in the modern work environment. It speaks to respecting what's on the inside, that we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover and so on. It also makes it very simple to show a little extra effort, because, regardless about how we feel, it is human nature to pass judgement upon initial impressions and appearances.

You may recall I said I wanted to turn it up some in my professional attire. And so, I started, or am attempting to start a trend, a work attire revolution with "Tie Tuesday". So far, I have one or two guys following my lead. Hey, it's a start.






Turning It Up 
"Tie Tuesday" shows a little extra effort and makes your memorable.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not so shallow as to think the guy with the best clothes should have it made. I believe you should work hard and success and good fortune should come your way. Like magic. Like getting your college degree. It should come with guarantees. It doesn't.

The truth is, if people don't know you, remember you, and associate you, the brand of you, with something that's good for the company, you may be missing your chance. Wearing a tie once a week is less about a a piece of fabric around your neck, it's more about standing out, standing up and showing your best.  I'd like to point out here, I am growing to be quite a fan of Charles Tyrwhitt. They had a free tie offer. And I love free stuff.

Make It Your Own
So, if you don't work in a tie everyday environment, then I encourage you to give "Tie Tuesday" a try. If you do, make it "Suit Tuesday". "French Cuff Tuesday", "Bow Tie Tuesday." Make it something that works for you. Be ready for some critiquing from your coworkers like, "Did somebody die?" and "Looking for a new job?" But gently remind them, "It's Tie Tuesday, I like to wear a tie sometimes". They may laugh. They may say they never want to wear a tie again. But some will follow your lead. And for sure, they will remember you. And that's important when you need to be remembered. Like when it's time for talent reviews. Or when you are looking for your next step in the company. Or when you want the open office!

Tie Tuesday isn't going to make you or me the next amazing manager. No instant promotion for your dapper style. But it does show you care enough to add a little extra to your level of professionalism.
It's a little way you can turn it up some at work.

Also, this doesn't have to be an expensive hobby. Some of my favorite ties are thrift shop or estate sale finds. What to look for in tie thriting:

1. Check for stains and snags - People eat in their ties and they turn into decorative bibs. Tie cleaning, in my experience, is not the easiest. Also, older ties often have a thick weave to them that can snag.  Make sure the fabric is intact.

2. Feel the weight - Many older ties will have brand names you have never heard of, which is actually kind of cool. Look for hand woven silk and padding in the tie. Is it heavy or very light? I prefer a heavy tie. You can feel the quality.

3. Keep it simple - Look for stripes or medallions to match your shirts. I'm always weary of the abstract art or tie-die. Do your own thing, but keep it classy.

4. Don't spend to much - I am all for paying for quality if you can afford it. But hey, I got kids and a mortgage. If you are new tie shopping and can afford it, go for it. But my favorite tie was literally $0.50. It's a thin black and silver from the 50s, very thin and impossible to find new.

5. Know what you're looking for - Remember what shirts you have and what you would like to match. If you get in to tie thrifting, you could end up with hundreds or thousands of ties if you're not careful. Know what you want or you'll end up buying it all.


I hope you have fun with it, after all, what's life without fun. Turn it up some.

Top 7 Reasons to Follow Me and Turn It Up Some

Top 7 Reasons To Follow Me and Turn it Up Some. 


I've noticed as I read my daily news, I love lists. Funny movie lists, crazy plot twist lists, best style lists, lists about ties, or people you meet in college, whatever. I think we are predetermined to like lists because we know how many are left as we read. We are not committing an unknown amount of energy getting sucked in by an article we may not even like.

I also realized, I have some things to say. And, if I do say so myself, I'm a pretty good writer. So, I promise to give you the good stuff as I come across it. A little humor, fashion, family, business and whatever else I come across.

With that said, I give you my fist new blog post and list. 7 Reasons to follow me.

1. Funny family stuff. 
First and foremost, I'm a husband and a father. And things that happen at my house are funny. And not just funny to me cause it's my house, but funny to all parents, cause I know you can relate. So I'll do my best to relate them without embarrassing my family too much. Because we all deserve a laugh. My daughters are beautiful and light up my life. My son is hilarious and stubborn. Likes to argue and tackle and laugh. But hates to go to bed.



2. Dress better without being a millionaire.
So, I decided that I wanted my outward appearance to reflect my desire to succeed. I also noticed that in today's casual business climate, it's not that difficult to set yourself apart with a little extra effort. But as I started looking at nicer men's clothes, I noticed that fine fashion isn't for the everyday Joe who has kids, bills and responsibilities. That is, unless you know a few tricks. I can help with that. So I'll give you what I've learned; where to shop, what to look for, and how to put it together. I'm not perfect, but I do alright.






3. Odds and Ends. 
I'm going to tell you about a new beer I found, a new restaurant we like, some song that is driving me crazy, or a style that is ridiculous. I'm going to let you know and I want your opinion too. I'll show you crazy pictures that I take, or things like this - a Darth Vader ice cube - great for whiskey.

I might talk politics and religion, but probably not too much. People get all crazy, but I don't make any promises.








4. My wife is a genius. 
So, for one she married me, but other than that, my wife is a professional treasure hunter. I mean it, she can walk into a thrift store, garage sale or estate sale and make amazing finds. I'll show you some stuff she finds and tell you what to look for in your area. She might even help me and blog from time to time. This is also one of the dress better secrets.










5. Leadership and leading from wherever you are. 
If there is one thing I'm passionate about at work, it's leadership. I have the opportunity to lead a team and find great satisfaction in their success. But you can lead from wherever you are, whatever position you have. I promise to share things that helped me along the way like books, development programs and little best practices. But at the end of the day, ask yourself if you care about what your doing. And if you do, actually really honestly care about your job, company, etc. , does it show in what your doing right now?


6. Social for business and new tech news. 
I've been in the wireless business since before I could drink (legally). I love new and emerging tech trends and social media. I research it and study it a lot. I am intrigued with the way it social evolved from the early MySpace to the dozens if not hundreds of social  sub-genres. Truth is, I'm really late this blog thing because I was afraid I didn't have anything of value to add. I had the opportunity to assist with a corporate social media strategy for a couple of businesses now and want to continue down that path. Also, I love the the way the wireless industry has evolved. My first phone was an NEC that held 9 numbers in its memory. Now I can post this blog from my phone.
Also, check my instagram http://instagram.com/stephenpjones10.  I love new phones, tablets, really all technology. Can't wait to get my hands on Google glass.

7. I'm an Okie in Chicago. There's nothing better than taking someone and putting them out of their element. Like taking a small town boy born in Oklahoma and putting him in the Chicago. Now granted, I didn't grow up on a farm, or break horses, but I like to pretend I did. I'm from Oklahoma City, which is, in fact, a city. But no one knows the difference here anyway, so I might play up my redneck card a bit, just to set myself a part. What sets you a part? How do you turn it up some?